Q. Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic? A. Show me your license. You're as sharp as a marble. Your IQ is so low, you have to dig for it! You're so ugly, you Trick or Treat over the phone. How tall are you? I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high! Q: Why didn't anybody hear Helen Keller scream? A: She was wearing mittens. -- Not the brightest crayon in the box -- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer -- Not the funniest clown in the circus -- Not the fastest horse in the race -- Not the sharpest tool in the shed -- Not the brightest star in the sky -- Not the most likely Vice Presidential candidate Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble? If my dog's face looked like your face, I'd shave his *** and make him walk backwards.