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You are an internet addict when...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by hanleyhansen, Feb 14, 2010.

  1. hanleyhansen

    hanleyhansen New Member

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    1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

    2. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.

    3. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

    4. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

    5. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

    6. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"

    7. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.

    8. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

    9. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

    10. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

    11. When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

    12. Your dog has its own home page.

    13. You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.

    14. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

    15. Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.

    16. You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

    17. You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

    18. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

    19. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

    20. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a job.

    21. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

    22. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

    23. You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

    24. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off.

    25. The last girl you picked
    up was only a GIF.

    26. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

    27. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

    28. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
     
  2. shabbir

    shabbir Administrator Staff Member

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    I am to a great extent
     
  3. coderzone

    coderzone Super Moderator

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    I am very deep into this addiction.
     
  4. Putnam

    Putnam New Member

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    Haha, this is a pretty funny post, but it is a little outdated... Netscape? Dialing your ISP? :P
     
  5. senaratne

    senaratne New Member

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    I wonder whether I am getting this addiction illness. Some of the symptoms are already there. :undecided
     
  6. hanleyhansen

    hanleyhansen New Member

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    Yeah, this is a little old. I found it stumbling :D
     
  7. tctm

    tctm New Member

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    Do you know of a rehab centre where I can get halp? It seems I'm an addict myself.:nonod:
     
  8. hanleyhansen

    hanleyhansen New Member

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    Lol try losing your keyboard or disconnecting your modem.
     
  9. seangtz

    seangtz New Member

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    Interesting post.....but I already read it once, it made me to remember me once again.
     
  10. gloveroliver12

    gloveroliver12 New Member

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    Hmmmmmmm... real nice one. I am glad that i am not a addict till now. i would like to know who all are this kind of addicts here.
     
  11. musicworld1

    musicworld1 New Member

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    You have an Internet addiction when . . .

    You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

    A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date.

    Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

    Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

    All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

    And even your night dreams are in HTML.

    You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

    You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

    You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au

    Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

    You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

    You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

    Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

    All of your friends have an @ in their names.

    When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

    Your dog has its own home page.

    Your dog's homepage is actually good.

    You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

    You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

    Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

    You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

    You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

    Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

    You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

    You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

    You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

    Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

    You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01or higher."

    You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.

    The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

    You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

    Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

    As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
     
  12. senaratne

    senaratne New Member

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    good one, musicworld1.
     

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