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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by nimesh, Sep 16, 2009.

  1. nimesh

    nimesh New Member

    Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:
    If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
    If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

    The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

  2. SaswatPadhi

    SaswatPadhi ~ Б0ЯИ Τ0 С0δЭ ~

    Hilarious :)

    But I doubt the very first postulate :p which is :
    What if souls are like photons which don't have a rest mass ?? [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photon]
    In such a case, energy (or mass) of a "soul" is "0" (null) if the soul is stationary.

    Secondly, how can the guy expect "hell" to obey the ideal gas equations like "Boyle's Law" ??
    There should be some correction factors for "dimensions" of a soul and inter-soul forces etc :p.

    Further, the basic definitions say that :
    So, if the guy assumes hell to be absorbing mass (which implies energy), how can it be exothermic ??
  3. mayjune

    mayjune New Member

    Saswat we give you A + be happy ;)
  4. hanleyhansen

    hanleyhansen New Member

    Excellent to both the joke but especially to SaswatPadhi because the guys explanation implies that the theory of "hell" is restrained to the same physical laws that our world is restrained to. Logically speaking, this is impossible because then this mass over time will burn because of the prolonged heat since hell is thought to be eternal.

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