Q. Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic?
A. Show me your license.
You're as sharp as a marble.
Your IQ is so low, you have to dig for it!
You're so ugly, you Trick or Treat over the phone.
How tall are you?
I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high!
Q: Why didn't anybody hear Helen Keller scream?
A: She was wearing mittens.
-- Not the brightest crayon in the box
-- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
-- Not the funniest clown in the circus
-- Not the fastest horse in the race
-- Not the sharpest tool in the shed
-- Not the brightest star in the sky
-- Not the most likely Vice Presidential candidate
Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?
If my dog's face looked like your face, I'd shave his *** and make him walk backwards.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Your so narrow minded when you walk your earings knock together.
Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
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