1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

5 Questions Most Feared by Men

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by SaswatPadhi, Sep 13, 2009.

  1. SaswatPadhi

    SaswatPadhi ~ Б0ЯИ Τ0 С0δЭ ~

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    1,343
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    STUDENT !
    Location:
    Orissa, INDIA
    Home Page:
    The 5 questions most feared by men are:

    1. What are you thinking about?
    2. Do you love me?
    3. Do I look fat in this?
    4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
    5. What would you do if I died?


    What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
    a. Football.
    b. Golf.
    c. How fat you are.
    d. How much prettier she is than you
    e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

    Inappropriate responses include:
    a. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
    b. That depends on what you mean by love.
    c. Does it matter?
    d. Who, me?

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question # 3: Do I look fat?
    The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
    a. Compared to what?
    b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
    c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
    d. I've seen fatter.
    e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
    Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
    a. Yes, but you have a better personality
    b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
    c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
    d. Define pretty
    e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Question # 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat").

    No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2009
  2. hanleyhansen

    hanleyhansen New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2008
    Messages:
    336
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Drupal Developer/LAMP Developer
    Location:
    Clifton
    Home Page:
    Great stuff...have to send to all my guy friends! Lol
     
  3. nimesh

    nimesh New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2009
    Messages:
    770
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Oracle Apps Admin
    Location:
    Mumbai
    Home Page:
    nice one sp
     
  4. SaswatPadhi

    SaswatPadhi ~ Б0ЯИ Τ0 С0δЭ ~

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    1,343
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    STUDENT !
    Location:
    Orissa, INDIA
    Home Page:
  5. smj01

    smj01 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2009
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    So, now let me add another question to this.

    Does this outfit make my butt look big?

    Come up with answers for that one! LOL!
     

Share This Page